Friday, May 22, 2009
I cry too much, I put hemorrhoid cream on my eyes. I read that somewhere once. An old model trick, or some shit. I'm not sure entirely that it works, but the concept makes sense. Shrink puffy ass assholes, or shrink puffy face assholes, it's all the same.
Tonight while sitting on the couch next to my dad, he unknowingly revealed that the doctor told him that he only had 2.5 years to live . . .a year ago. Um, yeah, I kind of lost my shit. This was followed by a lot of "oops'" and "we thought you knew's." Yeah, no. I didn't know. Nobody tells me anything. I think sometimes they want to spare me from hard feelings, but that just makes them even harder in the end. Maybe they were afraid of my reaction. This blubbery reaction.
So, yeah. I'm getting to that stage in life where losing your parents becomes an up close reality rather than a far off inevitability. It's a strange feeling because my parents had me when they were in their 40s/mid-40s, so they've always been older than most of my peers' parents. Most of their parents are still able and bounding, while mine are rotting from the inside out. I'm sure some of you have lost a parent, or two, before. How old were you? How old were they? How did you deal?
I guess I really need to make an effort to spend more time with my dad. And my mom, really. Less crying, more enjoying and savoring the good times. R's cute attempts at making me laugh and this really cheered me up. Okay, thanks for listening, I'm off to go ice my peepers.