Showing posts with label guests. Show all posts
Showing posts with label guests. Show all posts

Sunday, March 25, 2012

Meatloaf According to Celia

In which the amazingly talented and gorgeous Celia stops by to talk meat in the shape of loaves and near death experiences. Sorry about your pan, sister!

Enjoy!
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Greetings, Woolies! Gracie asked me share my superb meatloaf recipe (yes, it's superb... I dare you to make it and tell me it's not), and I am as giddy as a school girl to be here today.

Fun facts to know about myself and the lovely Gracie include:

- Our birthdays are exactly one day (and, um, several years) apart.
- We live too far away from each other.
- We both enjoy the word "cunt".
- We've actually hung out in REAL LIFE.
- We live too far away from each other.
- We both LOVE meatloaf.

On that note, meatloaf is so awesome. If you don't love meatloaf, I'm not so sure we can be friends (my veg friends are excused... I guess). Meatloaf is comfort food at it's best, for realz. The next time you're having a stupid and shitty day, just whip yourself up some meatloaf. GUARANTEED happiness in loaf form will have you over your problems in about 20 minutes prep time + 45 minutes oven time. Add a big glass of the liquor of your choice, and who needs prozac? 

So let's get started, shall we? Let's make some fucking meatloaf!

Ingredients 
(Meatloaf is incredibly hard to screw up, so keep in mind that these measurements do not have to be exact)

1/2# Ground Beef (I prefer grass-fed sirloin, but it's only because I'm snobby like that)
1/2# Ground Veal (Yes, incredibly un-pc of me, I know)
1 Medium Yellow Onion, diced
2-3 Stalks of Celery, diced
3 Sizable Cloves of Garlic, diced
1 tbsp. Fresh Thyme, chopped (Don't even THINK of using dried)
1 c. Panko Bread Crumbs
Milk
1 Large or Extra Large Egg
3 tbsp. Worsteshesherre Sauce
1/4 c. Ketchup, plus more for topping
Olive Oil
Salt and Pepper to taste

1. In a large mixing bowl, combine your breadcrumbs with just enough milk to make them soggy, but not wet. In other words, we're not looking for panko cereal here. Set aside.

2. Coat a large fry pan with some olive oil, and begin to sauté your diced onion and celery. You're going to want to take the time to really cook your veggies through. I like to do this slowly on medium-low heat because it will keep everything from caramelizing too much.

3. Once your onions and celery are just about fork tender, add your garlic and thyme. Keep sautéing, while stirring, for another 3-4 minutes. Set veggies aside and let cool.

WARNING: If you start making meatloaf right around your baby's bedtime and she begins her nightly meltdown routine, make sure you have your noggin screwed on tightly and remember to TURN YOUR STOVE OFF if you have already turned it on. If not, you will put your baby to bed, and walk out into a smoke-filled living room with a disapproving husband who, luckily, was there to SAVE YOUR LIFE. Also, you will ruin a very expensive pan. 


4. Once your veggies have cooled, add them along with the rest of your ingredients into the panko/milk mixture. Fold everything together with your hands making sure it all gets incorporated, but be careful not to overwork it. Overworked meatloaf tends to be tough. Yuck!

5. Salt and pepper are variables in EVERY recipe. Always make sure to start with a smaller amount because more can be added later. To know if I've properly seasoned my meatloaf before cooking the whole thing, I like to pan-fry a miniature patty for a taste test. This usually gives me a pretty good idea of how much more seasoning I need to add. If you're not as confident in your seasoning skills, you can always cook up a few taste tests until you get it right. Just remember, under seasoning is and easy fix; over seasoning is not. 

6. Now it's time to form your loaf. Personally, I find that loaf pans make for a soggy meatloaf, so I completely skip them. Also, you don't need a loaf pan because the egg in the recipe acts as your binding agent, ensuring that your meatloaf won't fall apart. You can mold your cute little loaf by hand right onto a foil-lined and greased baking sheet. Another option is to use parchment paper. 

7. Top your loaf with a healthy slather of ketchup. Don't try to get all fancy here, guys. Meatloaf is meant to be topped with plain, classic KETCHUP. 

8. Bake your loaf in a preheated 350º oven. All ovens vary a tad, but I find that roughly 45 minutes tends to be the magic number. Once the edges start to turn a dark caramel-y color, you know you're golden.

9. Let your meatloaf sit, or rest, for a good 5 minutes before slicing. You want to make sure all those yummy meat juices stay put. Serve it up with the potato dish of your choice (meatloaf MUST be served with potatoes). Typically I go for mashed, but decided on smashed and roasted new potatoes this time around. 'Twas a lovely combo that I highly recommend.

10. Last but not least, don't forget to make MEATLOAF SANDWICHES the next day.

That's it! Hope you guys take some time to make yourself a loaf or two, and a thousand thank yous to Gracie and to you for having me here to share my special recipe. 

xo -C

Friday, February 11, 2011


I'm a guest on ESB today!  

Saturday, February 05, 2011

Couch Surfing


I've never really understood the concept of therapy. Probably because I'm a repressive, secretive freak of nature. There have definitely been a handful of times in my life when I really should've sought help, but for some reason or another didn't. I've always had this impression that therapy was only for rich eccentrics, so I recently asked a friend of mine who is a big proponent of therapy some questions. I hope you find this as interesting as I did.

What are your general thoughts/experiences regarding therapy?



Saturday, August 28, 2010

Guest Post: R


My better, more mysterious, half has made an anagram for y'all. Enjoy!


LADY GAGA'S FAME MONSTER 
MAT FOR A GLAD GAY'S SEMEN

Wednesday, July 28, 2010

and the basket goes to....


Ashley. Because I quite enjoyed imagining the pink skirt making an appearance on HIM.

I also kind of wanted to give it to me melodia for admitting that she fantasizes about a serial killer. (But she's a friend, so that wouldn't be fair anyway.)

Thanks for playing you guys!!!

LOVE,
ESB

(Another photo by unpiano)

Wednesday, July 21, 2010

Guest Post: In which ESB gives you a pop quiz


How do you do it?

1. When I am getting down with my man/lady/self, I like to put on:

a) Marvin Gaye
b) Barry White
c) Nine Inch Nails
d)  _______________


2. To set in the mood, I:

a) Plug in the christmas lights
b) Light a scented candle
c) Are you kidding?? I turn off all the lights. I don't want to SEE ANYTHING.
d) _______________


3. Then I slip into:

a) Something lacy. Obv.
b) My furry suit. (Oopsy. Did I just say that out loud?)
c) Why bother with lingerie? Just take it all off.
d) _______________


4. On occasion, I close my eyes and image that he/she is:

a) Robert Pattinson
b) Zooey Deschanel
c) That is like cheating. I. Would. Never.
d) _______________


5. When we're finished, I:

a) Lie back and bask in the glow
b) Demand a glass of water
c) Dash off to check the comments on my blog
d) _______________


Please post your answers in the comments. I will calculate your scores based on an incredibly scientific formula I have yet to come up with, and the winner will receive an Astroglide gift basket (!) including three different kinds of lube,* a t-shirt (IknowIknowIknow, no one should ever wear a t-shirt endorsing any kind of lubricant), and a few other surprises. 

I kind of actually want to keep the gift basket. I'm thinking I might enter the contest under a pseudonym. I mean a different pseudonym. You know what I mean.

xoxo,
ESB

(Photo by unpiano)

*No warming liquid, I promise. I tried the stuff once, and I was not a fan.

Tuesday, June 29, 2010

Guest Post: now, voyager

heeeeeey dudes! it's cat from now, voyager and i'm here to share with you a list of things that i've been feeling especially brocktoon about lately. first up, this skit and saying the word "brocktoon". try it, it's fun!


-i'm loving the mociun tumblr as it helps my brocktooning of the inner workings of mociun.

-watching {and re-watching} the state and wishing i was in a 1994 ken marino/michael showalter sandwich. yeah. louie + doug = love.


-finally signing up for twitter just to read david lynch's feed. i still don't quite understand the appeal, but i love this.


-creating emoji txt patterns. and sending emoji txts in general.

-this jil sander men's s/s 2010 ikb suit, but, you know, for me.


-reading and loving and learning from 90's woman.


-hanging out with my amazing goddaughter tilley, who just turned 1.